Black Moon Friday

Tonight, September 30, 2016, will show a black moon. A black moon in itself isn't very spectacular, since it's simply the second new moon in the calendar month. What's so incredible about a black moon is it's appearance. You can see nothing, nada, zilch.....just empty, black, midnight sky. This occurance only happens once every two years or so, or at least the last one was in 2014. Why does this fascinate me so much? Because it keeps me humbled to the emptiness I felt before I followed Christ.
Many don't know this, but at one time in my life, I could tell you over 100 ways to commit suicide. I tried a few of them in fact...thankfully (now) unsuccessfully. I KNEW God existed. I KNEW heaven was waiting one day, but that wasn't enough to just KNOW it. I hadn't experienced it to understand it. I was still as empty as the sky on Black Moon Friday.
One night, I prayed...throughout my prayer I was screaming at God for everything bad that happened to me (a whole other story.....MAYBE one day). It was like I was in a rage or something. I had never felt that much anger and sadness erupt in me at any one time. Finally I said, through my "out-of-breath" stance, "Okay God, if you're really there, and you really care, I need peace. I just want to sleep."
I don't know what happened after that really, except this overwhelming warmth came over me, and I finally felt a similance of peace. I slept through the night for the first time in AGES! I still wasn't convinced. I was still so angry and hurt by life, that I didn't get it. I didn't understand why an ALL Powerful, ALL Loving God could allow such things. I raged at God nightly for weeks. And every single time, God filled me with peace afterwards. No matter how angry I was at God, He still loved me more. I was convinced then, and I started learning as much as I could about the nature of God.
I still don't understand it all, and probably I never will, since my feeble mind is NOTHING compared with God's perfection, and that's okay. I don't have to understand it all to trust Him, just like I didn't have to understand my parents to trust her when she told me to brush my teeth, wash my hands or go to be bed by 9pm on a school night. As my journey makes me grow, I will see more and prayerfully understand more, but honestly, my greatest goal to meet, before I meet Christ one day.....is to conform my heart to be as close to HIS reflection as I can.
Talk to your Creator....He can handle your anger, sadness, pain and even your shame.....and He still loves you more than all of that combined. Give someone else a reason to love you, especially if they already love you for no reason at all.....Most of all, Go Be Physical TODAY!! Tomorrow is too late.