Sorrow and Growth
I haven't posted in a long time, because for the past many months my husband has been fighting cancer. His doctor has now called in Hospice and told us it could be any day now. The nurse says any day could be several months, so for the time being we are in limbo, with him too weak to do anything and me not willing to leave his side. I almost feel like ghoul, like I am sitting here waiting for him to die, but the truth is I would give my right leg to have him well again. Without him life is scary, but on the same turn I am starting to feel caged. I literally cannot leave him alone, so this means I have to have someone else here for me to be able to work, tend the chickens or anything, which makes me feel caged. This makes me cranky, and I don't want to be cranky to him, but being human it happens sometimes, like when he won't take his meds. I don't even know why I worry about him taking his meds, and I have stopped worrying about it, except with his pain meds. I do NOT