The Journey

It almost takes someone who does not live in a place that sees a snowy winter to appreciate its beauty. Almost everyone loves the first snow of the season, but after that, it is just another hassle of the season; not only do the days get shorter and the vibrant color of winter fades, now add slick roads, shoveling the heavy snow and extra layering of clothes, and one might get a bit frustrated and depressed. Someone, like me, who knows the magic and beauty of the season, but does not  get to see it yearly, can truly appreciate everything the season offers. Snowmen, snow angels, sledding, ice skating and skiing is just the beginning of the beauty. The way fresh snow sparkles in the sunlight or moonlight turns a drab, dirty alley into a winter wonderland is just magical. Freshly fallen snow can cover and fill the foot prints of those walking away, almost as though erasing a painful mistake, or, perhaps, it is the snow's way of clearing the slate, preparing the way for the next artis

Whoever said, "you can never go home again" was wrong. Maybe they just don't have the amazing system of family and friends, which I have. Whatever the reason, they are just wrong. After living in South Carolina for eight years, I came back to my  hometown  for the summer. My family and friends have made me feel so loved, and shown me so much warmth and support, I am almost overwhelmed. With most, it was like no time had even passed, and with others, catching up has been filled with laughs and giggles and a few very late nights at the bon fire. No one has made me feel like I no longer belong, although a few jokes about my blood being thinner and not being able to take the cooler temperatures here, were made at my expense. Of course I give the ribbing as well as I receive it. A few bald jokes, a few burnt biscuit jokes and a couple barefoot and pregnant jokes were shared by me as well. A LOT of laughs have been shared, and a few tears also shared, during this summer of heal

I love blowing bubbles. The colors, the variety....it's just soothing to me. Every bubble is different. Each has its own color scheme and pattern. They are all different sizes with one basic shape. They float along wherever the wind takes them....some floating way high in the air and some more daring, only floating right above the tops of things. Some are finished almost as soon as they are made....running into the wrong things and meeting their early demise. Some have a longer life.....just slowly losing their color and disappearing. And some consume other bubbles to seem bigger and stronger. The one thing which is true in all bubbles is they take time and care to be created, they are fragile and when they are gone, there is no fan fare, no trumpets, they are just gone. Do they sound familiar yet? They reflect what I see in people. People come in different colors, different sizes and basically one shape. Some meet with a young demise by meeting the wrong people or objects and s

A friend told me a story this week, which I have been holding onto lately. Thanks EV!! The Lord found a faithful man one day...He told the man there was a hugh bolder in the road....He lead the man to that place...He instructed the man "Move this rock" The man was overwelmed... The rock was 100 times his size and weight....He stood there day after day ... ....Pushing with all his might...He was frustrated he cried out to God....Why am I to do this impossible task...He regrouped and started his task again...God saw fit to feed him and provide him everything he needed to remain on the task at hand.... The man pushed and pushed....day and night for weeks...Weeks turn into months....The man noticed that his body was transforming ....The push and strain had built incredible muscles on him...He woke up everyday ready to push and not budge the rock a inch... He prayed and told God...I now realize why i was sent here to do this task....God ask him WHY??? The man s

I wrote this quite a while back, but it needs repeating every so often...... Be encouraged!! This is only a season. A stepping stone, and if you need it to be......a learning or teaching moment. Satan attacks us in ways we never think or imagine possible. He thinks if he can take away that which is most important to us (here on Earth), or that if he attacks When things are taken away, then he can cause us confusion. Why is this happening? How can it be fixed? CAN it be fixed? Is all lost? Know, my friends, this is not of God. 1 Corinthians 14:33 (New King James Version) 33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. God loves you and wants you to know how much He wants to help you through this, no matter what decisions you've made to this point. 2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version)7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Confusion causes fear, and is tormentin

Wanna make God laugh?.....Tell Him you have your life under control and can handle it.....Then watch as He laughs and says, "so you think so, do you?"  For everything I have done in my life, He gets the credit. Who else can let me screw up, fall down, punish me for my foolishness, then pick me, dust me off and hold me until Iam strong enough to carry on? Only a father's love can do this. I know many don't know this sort of love from anyone here on Earth, and that is sad, since I have one of the bestest daddys in the world. The great thing is, God can teach you that love, even if you've never experienced it here. My dad is a quiet man, friendly, hard working, rarely complains, treats most with respect and dignity whether they deserve it or not, and loves his family with all his heart. Can you tell I am daddy's girl yet? I am the youngest child of  three, and the only girl. This comes with a lot of benefits, no doubt. This also comes with a LOT of responsibili

It's been a stressful, worry-some, exciting, exhausting and wonderful past few weeks here in my hometown. My time here has been spent reminiscing, working(hard), learning, and trusting. Most of all, I miss my family and home. I complain a lot about the pain I feel, and sometimes God steps in and tells me it could be worse. My friend is facing cancer treatments, and while she has my prayers and any support and love I can give her, it has been a reminder to me, that I am very blessed. Her pain does not negate mine in any way, but it does serve to remind me there are worse things than physical pain.  Another friend was arrested this week, on serious charges. Again, my payers and support go out to him and his family, but nothing I do for them will change what has happened. All I can do is offer my love and support as they deal with accusations. While their pain in no was negates my pain, it serves to show me there are worse things than financial pain. I met a woman recently, who

My time in Indiana, has left me with a lot of time to think. Mostly, I have been simply remembering things in the past..the couple who lived next door to us when I was growing up, and how he would keep the lawn so neat and weed free(the current owners haven't cut the grass since I have been in town), and how neat she kept the house, and how she and her sister loved to sit on her front porch and watch the traffic and us kids playing. I think a lot about playing ditchem and ghost in graveyard until way after dark, and that it was safe to do so. Things are different now, no way would I let my kids out in the neighborhood after dark here, but I will let them play out in the fenced back yard with friends. I won't even let them go to the parks without me. It may be perfectly safe, but not living here any longer, I just don't know. World wide devastations, hurricanes, earthquakes, wars. It all plays a part to keep people on their toes. A friend of mine today said, she's had

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!!!!! Oh Happy Day!!! It's been a few weeks, since I have had time to really get online and do anything. Sorry it's been so long, life just gets in the way sometimes. I am up in Indiana for a few weeks, taking care of some things for my dad, and he didn't have internet until recently. My hometown is pretty much the same, but it's not...does that make sense? The pie company is still down the road one way, the bowling alley the other. Traffic is still loud and emergency vehicles still go by at all hours of the night blaring their sirens. The major difference here, right now, is the unemployment rate. It's a whopping 13% and that is actually a better number than it's been for a while. The normal unemployment rate here is 4% so this is kind of scary to me, but I have faith things will keep improving here. I came to my dad's house and being a woman the first thing I noticed was the dirt. Dad is okay at vacuuming and

Ok so my minor melt down is past. I think the stress of everything just got to me, but I have spent time in prayer, regrouped and now, all better. Back to the task at hand......Healing... I learned this healing process will be a long one. I guess since it took me 37 years to get here, expecting to be healed in a few weeks or months was pretty foolish thinking. I have to change my entire way of thinking about my health overall, not just my back. Processed foods...bad...fresh fruits and veggies..good. That sounds like an elementary way to look at things, but it's what I have to do, get back to the basics of life. I couldn't put a garden in this spring, but I am already planning my gardens for next year. The only hitch is, we are selling our house, and I am not sure where we will be living, how much space I will have to plant, or even if I will have enough room to plant. If not, patio containers, here I come. My pain is no where near what it was, so the water is helping, and

I have learned, in the past couple of weeks, that people are vile, testy creatures, who don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. I have learned, that the only person who will be honest with you, is yourself. I have learned, that if someone doesn't agree with you they will be very mean to you. I have learned, that the only way to get someone to keep a promise to you is not ask them to make one. I have learned that I am unique, in that against all odds and no matter what others say or do, I genuinely care about people. I have learned, that I am unique in that I look for and usually see the best in people. Until now.  What was God thinking, knowing how vile humanity is, that they are capable of of loving anything like themselves? How could He even hope for peace? What was God thinking, giving humanity the dominion over the whole Earth, knowing how corrupt people are? Why would God give ANYONE a heart to serve others, KNOWING others would trample on that person? What w

This was emailed to me tonight, and was so touching I just had to share it.... Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named 'Lucky.'  L ucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.   Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's other favorite toys Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box. It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease....in fact; she was just sure it was fatal. She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders

I received an email last night with a VERY inflammatory photo. It wasn't dirty or anything, and while I did some research and found that most likely the photo was fake, I discovered something along the way. There are a LOT of angry, hateful people in this country. The friend who sent this to me is NOT one of these people, just simply forwarded along an email....My facebook page is covered with angry posts from angry people on both sides of the fence. My experiences online have led me to meet many other people, who are just angry, or maybe they are just hateful (I can never be sure) If there are so many such people in this country, with the great lives we have,  then how many more must there be in other countries where life isn't so great? How much pain, and sadness and anger must we exhibit before we realize that happiness, joy, and peace are right at our fingertips? Our joy isn't based in the country we live, our job, or even our life. It's based on how we see these

It's Mother's Day, and after a wonderful day with my family, and eating more of the delicious food prepared at my table, I stopped and thought about my own mom for a while. She wasn't a mommy, who coddled me through life, as though everything would always work out and life would be easy. She wasn't a mother, who was cold and stand-offish, leaving me to others to raise. She was a mom. She kissed my booboos when I hurt. She let me make my own mistakes, even though I insisted she knew nothing anyways, growing up. She let me choose my own friends and handle my own affairs, only stepping in when she KNEW I was screwing up. She gave me my privacy, and allowed me my secrets. She was tough as nails, and could decorate the house with the coordination and precision of a professional. My high school years were terrible, mostly because my mom and I were always at odds. What I saw as a controlling, angry, disappointed woman, was simply a woman who wanted so much for her only daugh

This is an old message, but every so often, I hear, read or see something, which makes me realize just how important this is for people to hear, hear often and believe. A Message to the Hurting and Confused (July 28, 2009) Be encouraged!! This is only a season. A stepping stone, and if you need it to be......a learning or teaching moment. Satan attacks us in ways we never think or imagine possible. He thinks if he can take away that which is most important to us (here on Earth), or that if he attacks When things are taken away, then he can cause us confusion. Why is this happening? How can it be fixed? CAN it be fixed? Is all lost? Know, my friends, this is not of God. 1 Corinthians 14:33 (New King James Version) 33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. God loves you and wants you to know how much He wants to help you through this, no matter what decisions you've made to this point. 2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Ve

So, I have cooled down from my last post, and realized, this anger I had was not helping me. As easy as it would be to hold onto it, I have to release it for my own good. Being angry hasn't changed the fact that I hurt, almost daily, and it didn't change the fact that no one can take it from me. So back to work I go. I learned the the greatest source of the healthiest water is not found in a stream, a bottle or even my faucet...it's in fruit. Being a fan of eating fruit already, this doesn't surprise me, however, I had never thought of fruit being a source of water. This little bit of information gives me a bit of new hope in my search for water. I still struggle with having to drink so much water. So, I am going to start adding a slice of lemon to my water to maybe add some taste. Besides lemons are juicy fruits, so I am getting two benefits from one simple glass of water. If this helps me, I may try adding other fruit to my water, such as orange slices, strawberry s

I am furious!! It's bad enough I have gone through two MAJOR surgeries, and all the difficulties which go with these surgeries, but now, I find out my doctor failed to tell me a little about the recovery time, like the fact that it takes SEVEN YEARS to completely recover!!!!!! My family doctor had the decency to tell me I would go through pain for several years before this was all over, but I misunderstood him to mean that having my entire spine fixed would take several years, not from an individual surgery. But my specialist literally told me I would be feeling better within a year and would be all better in a little over a year. What right does he have to outright lie to me??? I am floored!! It's bad enough that no one told me about alternative treatments for this, BEFORE I had surgery, but now to find out that I was lied to? I am ready to completely give up on the medical community all together!!!!! I will cool down and remember they are human too, but right now, I just wa

I am a follower of Christ. Before you look at me and think Ugh, she just lost me, let me tell you what that means to me. It's a very simple, really, It just means I believe in the sacrifice Christ made for me. I am not some Bible thumping, cram it down your throat, preacher. I don't judge you, and I don't expect to be judged. This is MY choice, MY life, MY decision, I don't expect it to be yours. It's a personal walk, a personal decision, and a personal Journey. No one else can make it for me, but me. I don't go to church, because I believe we ARE the Church, and unfortunately, many, which I have found, don't believe this. I would rather show people, Jesus in my life, by my generosity, mercy, and grace. While I am not perfect at this yet, I strive to be better, daily. Someone once told me, I am a fisher of men. I was also told, on a different occasion,  that I have a warrior spirit. I truly never understood this one, because I always feel so weak, until

My free lance writing website is keeping me from working right now, so here I am again. For the past three nights I have slept in my own bed!! This is MAJOR progress for me. I did wake today in pain, however, it wasn't bad enough to keep me down. It's the first time in almost two years I have slept in my own bed for more than a night or two, and even though I woke in pain this morning, I plan to sleep in my bed again tonight. I sleep so much better in my bed, but until recently, I couldn't tolerate the pain, in which I woke. A pain free day will NEVER be something I take for granted again, this I know for sure. Pain does a lot to a person, besides hurting them physically. It causes emotional problems, relationship problems, and just overall problems. You lose a lot of yourself, when pain creeps in. You forget what's important, and focus only on relieving the pain. It's a losing battle if you don't keep searching for the answers. A friend posted, as his fac

I was blessed with three daughters. The oldest two turn 18 and 16 tomorrow. Talk about feeling old, I will officially have a child who is an adult tomorrow. It's funny but the closer this day has come, the more I visualize her as an infant. Easter dinner, I pictured her sitting in my lap, sharing my plate when she was about 1 year old.  I remember when they were newborns, and I walked them around the yard introducing them to the trees and the flowers and even though they don't remember that, I instilled a value in them, and that young moment. I taught them that trees and flowers and even bugs are beautiful creations with purpose and cause. Sarah, my oldest, will be graduating soon and leaving me to go on to college. She thinks she will major in psychology right now, but as her mind grows and she experiences life on her own, that may change. Whatever path she takes I hope she follows her heart, uses the grace and mercy she's been taught, and uses the common sense that God

Pain and drugs seem to go hand in hand. Whether it's emotional pain or physical pain, there is a drug on the market (or under the table) to make it "better". The problem with this is, the drugs are as bad as the problem itself. I learned this when I was in my early 20's and diagnosed with a form of epilepsy. I don't have what most think of as a seizure: I simply zone out for about a minute, and sometimes actually pass out. They tried several medications on me, and the side effects were horrible. One actually made me stutter for weeks, before I told the doctor I didn't have that problem before I started taking that med, and I didn't care if it was a known side effect or not, I wasn't taking it anymore.....oddly enough 4 days after I stopped the medication, the stutter went away. Two months later (after I changed physicians) he called me and apologized to me, telling me further studies had proven that stuttering and speech issues were now a known side ef

My minor setback last week, turned into a bit more of a setback than I anticipated. This is going to be a LONG road back to health. I still struggle with my faith, through all of this, and that bothers me. I had no idea how shaky my faith truly was, since it had never really been tested in the past. Faith is easy to have when life is going smoothly or with only minor bumps along the way, but let life throw you a real curve ball and even the most faithful has questions. I get so frustrated when I am doing well for so long, then WHAM!! One wrong step and I am off my feet for days or even weeks. This has to be one of the most senseless diseases to ever strike humanity. I am furious with myself for walking that extra five minutes last week (yes it only took five extra minutes of walking to do this to me), setting all of this into motion, I am fighting being furious with God for allowing this at all, and I am furious with everyone else, for going along through life, as normal, without me. I

The thing about undertaking a life changing way of living, is if you want the benefits you have to continue this for life. For me that means giving up a lot of my beloved drink-sweet iced tea, and drinking a LOT of water. People think when you drink tea or juice or anything really, that you're getting water anyways, so it's a fair trade. Not so. Other drinks besides fresh water have things in which actually take the water from your body, causing you to be more dehydrated than before you drank them. My problem is forty years of habit is VERY hard to break. I know I should drink at least two to three quarts of water per day, more right now as I replenish my body's needs, but the problem is, for forty years I have HATED drinking water, and that is an extremely hard habit to break. My body is telling me to drink water, drink water, drink water.....my head is saying ewwwww icky. Between not drinking enough water, yesterday and this morning, and probably being over zealous in m

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpSmy4tnOWA   I was going to write this blog strictly on stress, and while this is a great topic for a blog (maybe later), as I was meditating on my daily verse and spent time in prayer, I feel trust is better blog for today. Actually the two go hand in hand. If you trust in God, how can you stress over the world?  Before I go further, let me tell a little about stress. According to the National Stress Institute (yes there is an entire institute devoted to studying stress-we will pay for almost anything now-a-days) stress causes or aids most things which ail our bodies. Stress alone can cause depression, high blood pressure, anxiety disorders, and heart disease. It has been known to be a trigger for asthma attacks, sugar influxes in diabetics, digestion issues, as well as, certain cancers!! That information alone is enough to scare me into developing a more stress-free lifestyle! The reason I say trust and stress go hand in hand, is if you trust th

Hi! I am many things to many people. I am a child of God's first and foremost, and no one can nor will ever take that seat from me. Otherwise, I am a mommy, mostly. Until three years ago, I worked full time as a Realtor, volunteered in the girls' schools weekly, ran my household and volunteered as a search and rescue worker. One day, literally all at once, that came to a halt. My left arm went numb, my left shoulder hurt constantly, and my stomach was in knots(probably from the stress of everything)...I thought I was having a stroke. I called my doctor and because of my symptoms, he worked me in within 30 minutes. He listened to my heart and lungs, sat down in front of me and said relax, you're not having a stroke. However, I think your problem is in your neck. After my xray, he said his new technical term for my spine is "icky looking" and gave me the long name of a spinal disease, a disease most people don't even begin to have symptoms of until they are in