No Fear Allowed!

Deuteronomy 31:6 (New King James Version)

6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”(Biblegateway.com)

God gave me a lot of courage, only I didn't see it until I was grown. I used to have a major fear of heights. One day, I decided  to overcome this, and one day at a time, I gave that fear to God and continued to step closer and closer to the edge of our deck until I was at the edge looking down about 20ft. Then the following day....I jumped.....I didn't get hurt amazingly, and that fear was gone forever. Now, when I am strong enough, I want to finish my search and rescue certifications with rapel lessons to get my high angle rescue certs.  Rock climbing, rappelling and hiking.....anything outdoors in the woods is soothing to me now. It's my time to commune with both God and myself by pushing myself to the limits of my abilities. That moment, when I reached the edge of the deck and was not scared, was a life changing moment in my life. I discovered that with God I can overcome any fear. If I could overcome a 33 year old fear of heights, then I could overcome ANYTHING, right?
This is partly why I KNOW the answers are there for my recovery. I gave it to God, and while I don't believe God will simply hand me health without my own work and sweat, I know I can overcome this. I also learned, recently, that I fear pain. Funny statement for someone in constant pain to make, I realize, but being in pain is a type of bondage. I KNOW when I go shopping I will hurt after. I KNOW walking too far will make my legs shake, go numb for a while then HURT.  I KNOW standing and bending and cleaning my house will make me hurt. And I have learned to fear the pain I can have, and to cherish the pain free hours or days.
The problem I have with this is.......ready for this?..... Fear is NOT from God!! I am starting to think, that in my search for healing, I will learn so much more about my fears and what scares me the most. I have already learned a lot about my ability to cope and handle life with pain, now it's time to learn how to overcome this fear. I keep giving this to God, but I must be missing something, or some time. Maybe there is a time in my life I am supposed to figure this out? Maybe I am supposed to already see it. But probably, in God's Perfect timing....I will. Until then I just keep on praying and searching, I keep trying new things, and learning as much as I can about what my body needs to function. Mostly, I just keep on keeping on.
Isaiah 40:31 They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Remember: God loves you no matter where you are in life. Don't wait to be good enough; He will meet you where you are......Love someone no matter what, and with everything you have, because someone loves you that way. Most of all......GO BE PHYSICAL TODAY....Tomorrow may be too late!!
Peace!

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