Osteo-Arthritis

I learned recently, that on top of having a degenerative disease in my spine, I show all the symptoms of osteo arthritis. The doctor isn't sure why I am progressing so fast, and quite honestly I don't think he cares anymore why? Another debilitating disease that normally only affects people 20 years older than I at least. While the cause of this disease is still a mystery, research does show that some people can get this from over use of their body and joints.....just goes to show that the saying, " a little hard work has never hurt anyone" is hooey!! Okay , so maybe a little hard work won't, but 30 years of constant strenuous work will. I started working at age 13, and I never stopped until I had to. My body is literally 25 years older than my mind. What does that mean? Does that mean that in five year my body will quit completely, while my mind is still active and vibrant? And if so, can my brain be regenerated someplace else?
The herbs aren't doing nearly enough to keep my day-to-day activities a go without my pain meds. I am quite let down about this, because I truly held hope that it would help much more than it has. Oh well, back to the drawing board I guess.
I still struggle with my faith. I understand God didn't cause this, but He did allow it, or at the very least did nothing to prevent it. It's been 4 years now, and He has done nothing to help really. I pray daily and nothing changes. I still feel like Job and like I am failing greatly. I am very angry with God right now. What kind of father, who has the power to change things, would allow his child to struggle with this sort of pain daily? Not to mention all the problems that has come from this pain; my moodiness, stupid choices I make while drugged, fighting depression and fatigue all the time. If it were one of my children and I had the power to do something, I would move mountains for them, but for whatever reason, I don't even rate a single pain free day. I think I am being jipped here. I would do whatever I could to take the pain away from my girls, but I don't rate that sort of love from God? Whatever the reason, and it's probably not for me to know yet, if ever, it had better be a good one!! No one deserves this pain......okay my evil mind can think of a person or two who might, but not right off.  I keep telling people this is just how life goes some days, but I am starting to not believe it anymore. WHo really knows?

Remember:Talk to God, He's a big god and can take anything you tell him.....even your anger...... Love someone whether they deserve it or not, because someone loves you this way.... Enjoy the day, because there may not be another to enjoy, it's a gift, that's why it's called the present......but most of all: Go Be Physical TODAY!!!! Tomorrow may be too late.
Peace!