My Own Anything.

When I was a little girl, imagining how my life would be now, I imagined a much sweeter thing, than reality. Imagination is great for seeing the sweet side of life. Why do we as adults lose so much of our imagination; our openness to new ideas, new thoughts or new values? Have we been so jaded that any new idea that takes us out of our "comfort zone" scares the holiness out of us? I like to think of myself as an open-minded person, but I find myself asking, "What does that mean?" I have tried so many remedies and life altering treatments, in an effort to cure myself, that I honestly don't know anymore what's healthy, what might kill me, and what may only shorten my quality of life. I don't know what I can or can't tolerate any longer. I don't know what I SHOULD tolerate now. I feel betrayed by doctors, beaten down by people who don't "see" a sick or disabled person, and by regulations on what I can and can't be allowed to take, say or do for myself and on my behalf. No one seems to have the power to even help me, or they're too afraid to, let alone to cure me or fix me.
I read in a book, recently, about a trick to letting go of my worries and give them to God. Find a box, put a slot into the lid, and when I have a request, write it and put the folded paper through the slot. Voila! No more problem. I don't trust any ideas any longer. I don't trust any words of encouragement. I don't trust any words from anyone right now. I promised myself to take at least one thing away from this book, and this is the thing. It can't hurt me anymore than doctors and other people have hurt me.
"Lean not on your own understanding."

Remember: Talk to God, even when it doesn't seem like it, He hears you and loves you. Love someone with everything you have to offer. It gets easier with practice. Most of all....GO BE PHYSICAL! Tomorrow WILL be too late!

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 16, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    Good, you are back, I was wondering what happened to you. Your blog posts have always been a source of strength and comfort to me, even though I had no idea what you were going through. Now, my health has taken a turn for the worse. I got out of the hospital a while ago and I still have many tests and a long road to recovery. One doctor told me, "we don't know why you are still alive".. Made me all warm and fuzzy. Anyway, keep posting and i will do the same, perhaps we can gain comfort from each other.. God Bless..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Danelle W.June 28, 2011 at 8:45 AM

    Tootsies, I just saw this. I didn't know you were ill? Hmmmm I need to check in onmy friends a bit more apparently.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Can Never Go Home

Image
Whoever said, "you can never go home again" was wrong. Maybe they just don't have the amazing system of family and friends, which I have. Whatever the reason, they are just wrong. After living in South Carolina for eight years, I came back to my  hometown  for the summer. My family and friends have made me feel so loved, and shown me so much warmth and support, I am almost overwhelmed. With most, it was like no time had even passed, and with others, catching up has been filled with laughs and giggles and a few very late nights at the bon fire. No one has made me feel like I no longer belong, although a few jokes about my blood being thinner and not being able to take the cooler temperatures here, were made at my expense. Of course I give the ribbing as well as I receive it. A few bald jokes, a few burnt biscuit jokes and a couple barefoot and pregnant jokes were shared by me as well. A LOT of laughs have been shared, and a few tears also shared, during this summer of heal
Read more

Three Simple Words

Image
I Love You. Three very powerful words. My husband surprised me this morning by sending me a text with those three simple words. It made my day, and I loved it so much that I saved that text. I am often amazed at how such a simple phrase can change the course of a day. Words have power. They have meaning. They can change a day for the better...or for the worst. The word in the middle, love, reveals two choices he made this morning. One, he chose to love me still today. Two, he chose to tell me this. All his choices for the rest of the day, concerning me, will reflect those two choices he made this morning. The reason I believe Love is a choice is that God IS love. (1John 4:8) If we have to choose God, then we have to choose Love. Pretty simple reason, really. Another word for God is Lord-another powerful word, meaning strength to me. People run to the Lord when they fall. They run to that word like a tower in a storm. (proverbs 18:10) With God I cannot fail. With the Lord, I cannot be
Read more

Let Go and Let God

Image
I am an angry woman! I have been through being angry with myself over this disease....what have I done to myself? the most common question I asked. I was warned as a child that having children of my own would be too hard on my body, but I did it anyways.(and I don't regret that decision at all...EVER) I was warmed that being too physical with my body would harm me, but I did it anyways. Then, I went through being angry with God. How could a loving and faithful Father allow such things to happen to his daughter? Where was my protection? Simply...WHY? And of course along with anger with God came the guilt of thinking I know so much about my own life, that I would know better than God what I need or should have. Gotta love the guilt part. It still makes me chuckle today. Then I was angry with other people for going through their own lives as though nothing bad has happened in my own. How dare my family be happy when Mom is so miserable. Ahhhh motherhood. It gives women so many sil
Read more